Canada

When last we left our fair hero, he was traveling into British Columbia and didn't know if he'd have internet. Well it turns out that there was no internet in the cabin in which I was staying. See for yourself:





There's no television, no internet, barely a shower. The only saving grace of the cabin was that it was located next to the confluence of two rivers, and was really pretty.

While I'm on the subject, British Columbia might be the most beautiful place on earth (in the summer). Mountains, the Pacific, the trees. And everything smells like cedar. If you get the chance, I strongly recommend you take the Sea-to-Sky Highway as far north as you can during the summer.

Not that it's that easy to get into Canada. Here's an excerpt of the conversation I had with the border crossing guy

Him: What are you doing here?
Me: Going to a wedding.
Him: Where?
Me: Canada.
Him: *blank stare*
Me: Squamish, specifically.
Him: What do you do for a living?
Me: I'm an attorney.
Him: What type of law do you do?
Me: Criminal Defense.
Him: Win any big cases lately?
Me: None that you would have heard of up here.
Him: Can you prove to me you're an attorney?
Me: I could argue with you and then bill you for my time?
Him: I meant like a bar card.
Me: Oh, sure.

He then proceeded to ask how much money I had on me, and then let me go. I'm sure this sounds real fun, but remember, this guy was packing a semi-automatic rifle.

Sadly, I was not able to get a picture of him.

Once I arrived in Squamish, it was time to meet the wedding party out for karaoke. A bit of explanation: I was in Canada for Rob & Dave's wedding. They are two teachers I met while I was living in China. They are two of the most awesome people in the world, and I was glad to have been invited to their wedding. Also, Loes & Noel were there, who were also people I met in China. Loes is a Dutch woman, Noel is a Filipino, and they now live in Moscow. (Apparently I could make a killing there, or so they assured me). Rachel, another teacher from China, was also back. So, it was kind of like a big reunion party for us: we swapped gossip, updated each other on our lives and the lives of the other teachers who were there, etc. And of course, there was drinking. The entirety of the evening probably is best summed by the following picture of Loes:


The next day, we gathered at a friend of Rob and Dave's house for the wedding. It was on this really gorgeous piece of property with views of three giant waterfalls coming down from the mountains. Unfortunately, it was also raining, which forced us to have the ceremony on the deck of the house instead of out in the yard.


Here's Dave, preparing himself for go time with a drink.

Here's Rob, doing something besides getting married.


And here they are actually getting married. I wish I had a better picture, but have you ever tried to take a picture during a wedding ceremony? It's like trying to get inside the perimeter past the Boston Celtics. Women with heavy feet and sharp elbows will all but throw you to the ground rather than let you infringe an inch on their own photo positions.

Nevertheless, the ceremony was very nice and I had an awesome time at the reception. The next day, I prepared myself for my arrival back to the U.S.

Coming up next: Branden Gets Attacked By Werewolves, Hilarity DOES NOT ENSUE. Also, Crater Lake.